It’s Tuesday, so it’s likely to be a random day around here.

• I had to make a payment on my Lane Bryant account.  But they changed the log in system so you had to re-register.  To do that, you needed your account number.  I no longer have that since I cut up the card.  Thus, I’ve been getting calls like crazy from them to pay my bill which is, mind you, only a day late.  Times must be tough for the bank if they’re waiting on my payment to achieve full funding.
• The weather here has been getting progressively more spring-like every day.  Yesterday the temperature hit 55 degrees.  Undoubtedly, somewhere on campus, someone was wearing shorts and sandals.  That’s how we roll in Michigan.
• Speaking of how we roll, I have a confession to make:  I don’t really care for The Doors.  There, I said it.
• This caffeine purge isn’t going well.  I had iced tea last night and I’m sipping on a Diet Coke right now.  I lack discipline.  Clearly.
• Rocky the Dog is getting progressively better.  It’s still a long process and we’re early in it, but he’s putting weight on the bad leg more often now and can move pretty quickly.  Probably too quickly for his own good.
• I have my first mid-term as a graduate student today.  I haven’t had to study for a test since the bar exam, and that was quite a different set of circumstances.  I’m not used to this anymore.  Wish me luck.

What’s on your mind today?

“To gain that worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else.”

Bernadette Devlin

This whole trying-to-conceive the “babay” thing is starting to put a cramp in my style.  I mean, I know babies generally put a cramp in styles, but I thought that occurred after they arrived, not before they were conceived.  This kid already owes me about sixty bucks for random books and supplies.  Oh, I’m keeping a tab.

But what’s more than that, I’ve found myself having to cut back on the excesses I enjoyed as a free and wild adult.  No more alcohol–which is okay since I didn’t drink too much anyway.  No more smoking–which, again, is okay as I didn’t smoke.  Cut back on the sugar/carbs (again) and caffeine, though?  Color me unimpressed.

I’ve been able to come to terms with the fact that I’m losing my extra room.  This is the room that was supposed to be my Red Rock Room–my rock memorabilia room painted red.  I certainly can’t fit a baby amongst the crap that’s accumulated in there.  So I have to give up the dream for now.  And I’m fine with that.

But give up caffeine?  Lower my carbs and sugar?  That seems to be torture.

I think it’d be easier if I knew I was pregnant.  Then I could genuinely look out for the health of someone else.  But somehow, when it comes down to me, I’m always ready to destroy myself one bad habit at a time.  The fact that I’m now having to cut back for the (hopefully) impending arrival of a fetus in me…well, it helps, but it isn’t easy.

So how do we give up things that we’ve become adapted to over time?  I’m working pretty well with the cutting down on coffee.  I went from six last week to three.  But Diet Coke?  It’s a bit harder.

That’s where you come in dear readers.  You’re going to tell me of times when you had to give things up and how you did it and what got you through it.  Because I could use the support at this point.  My body is still craving caffeine and carbs on an hourly basis.  Maybe a minute-by-minute basis.  And I could use a little inspiration.

So…

What have you had to give up to get something else?  How did you do it?

Open Letters Friday is a segment here at PCL for your reading and writing enjoyment. I’ll share with you some of my open letters for the week and you’ll get the opportunity in comments to share yours. Now, tell me, who do you need to write to this week?

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Dear Readers:

I absolutely ADORED reading your pet peeves yesterday.  If you haven’t responded with yours yet, you can do so here. And please do, because they’re AWESOME x infinity.

Love always,

Kim

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Dear Universe:

I know you pushed me into this “let’s have a baby decision,” and all.  And I’m fine with that.  But do you really need to keep proving your point?  I mean, every day this week I’ve been confronted with actual babies or baby pictures.  Every single day.  You’re seriously going a bit overboard.  I’m already on board.

Enough already.

Sincerely,

Babied-out

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Dear Ignite:

I’m ready for you to rock my socks off.  So start rockin.  NOW.

Yours,

Anxiously Awaiting The Event

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Dear Fellow Bloggers Who Have Given Me Awards Lately:

I’m a turd.  I haven’t followed through with reposting them.  Mostly, this is because I can’t remember exactly where they came from and when.  So please accept this humble apology for not giving credit where credit was due.

Sincerely,

Apologetic

———————–

Dear Republican National Committee:

I never was a fan.  You know that.  I know that.  But you amused me this week.  See some dumbass left behind a very important Power Point Presentation.  And it just happened to be picked up by a Democratic operative.  And the presentation showed that you want to align yourself with your radical (aka “crazy”) conservative types and showed Obama as the Joker, Pelosi as Cruella DeVille and Reid as Scooby Doo (which I really don’t understand).  And it proved that you base your support around fear…quite literally.

Let’s just say this presentation doesn’t place you in a good light. But it sure makes you look hilariously stupid.  And I enjoy that.

So thanks for the laughs.  I could use them.

Love,

Democratic-to-Death Kim

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Now it’s your turn!  Get things off your chest.And you can check out other Open Letters Fridays here.

I can’t figure out what to blog about today.  I’ve already blogged about my impatience.  I’ve already blogged about wanting to make a baby (or as Ms. MM calls it, “the babay”).  I’ve already blogged about paths and life and changing plans.

Is there a time that comes when you’ve blogged about everything?

Likely not. Yet, there are only so many times I can do Random Thoughts posts and get away with it.  So instead, I’ll tell you about things that drive me nuts.  Ms. MEPS and I came up with an extensive list a long time ago, but I’ve added some since then.

So sit back and don’t relax, this will only remind you of the things you can’t stand.  And that’s what I really want to hear about.

• Open signs on buildings/businesses that are CLEARLY not open
• Vanity license plates
• People who say “irregardless” instead of “regardless”
• The term “that being said,” or any variation thereof
• Straws that are flimsy or too thin, especially while drinking a shake
• People who think they know legal procedures when they really have no clue what they’re talking about
• People who use their cell phones in a public bathroom
• Parents who don’t reprimand their children for clearly erroneous behavior
• Extraordinarily long receipts that serve no purpose
• Song lyrics that rhyme only by using the same word twice

And this is just a start…

So I ask you, friends of the Interwebs, what are your pet peeves?

• I believe that the first sip of water after drinking coffee is the best sip of water ever.
• I believe that breakfast is the most important and most fun meal of the day.  There are so many possibilities.
• I, like Seal, believe we won’t survive unless we get a little crazy.
• I believe that Lost is teasing me with its endless parade of questions and short-on-answer attitude.  But I love it anyway.
• I believe that life’s plans change on a constant basis.  The true test of a person isn’t whether s/he reached the end of a path, but whether s/he rolled with the punches along the way.
• I believe that passive aggressive behavior is devastating in most circumstances, but that doesn’t prevent me from engaging in it from time to time.
• I believe I can be intimidating without trying to be.
• I also believe that when I want to be intimidating, it usually doesn’t work.

WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE?

You can check out the other parts of the “I Believe” series here:  Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six , Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten and Part Eleven.

When I studied abroad in France for two months after my junior year of college, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  All of a sudden, I was transported into a world where no one spoke the same language as me and I struggled to keep up.  Parisian strangers can be dangerous company, and they often scoffed at my poor French skills.  I was prepared to be ankle deep in cultural immersion.  Little did I know I’d be neck-deep and rising.

One day, after I moved to the tiny town that my school was in, Le Relecq Kerhuon, I found myself walking from my school through the city back to my host family’s home.  Though I normally took the bus, the walk seemed to be easy enough and it was a nice day.  “I might as well,” I thought, and started off on my journey.

That day I must have walked about 10 miles.  I’m not even exaggerating.  I totally underestimated the distance the house was from school and neglected to remember the many hills in my way.  But I trudged and trudged and finally got there and collapsed on my bed.

But that wasn’t the best part of the journey.  The best part was the things I got to see along the way.  I got to explore a part of a small French town that I never would have seen from the bus.  I learned where the local grocery store was, the boulangerie and the patisserie.  I saw kids playing after school.  I recognized the route the bus took wasn’t the most scenic route.

Despite my recent commentary to the contrary, I’ve recently realized that I want to be a mother sooner rather than later.  Amongst my many medical maladies, I have PCOS, which likely means it’ll be more difficult for me to get and stay pregnant than most people.  It also means that I need to act when time and age are on my side.

Originally, I thought I was crazy.  I just started back to school.  Our finances aren’t in the best possible order.  I’ll have to clean out that god-forsaken room in my house to make way for a child.  I’ll have to eat better. I’ll have to forsake drinking (which I don’t do that much, but I like to every once in awhile).  I’ll have to cut down on caffeine. None of this sounds like fun.

But then I realized something else:  I wanted to do this now more than ever.  I want to start this journey now. The timing is precariously right as the child would likely be born just as I’m finishing my Master’s and able to teach at the college level.

It’s okay to admit this:  Now is the time.

Since then I’ve been immersed in another language all it’s own:  the baby-conceiving language.  This is even more difficult when you’re dealing with the PCOS-dialect of that language.  Everything is about charting, planning, detailing, and less about just doing the deed.  There’s a lot more to this than I ever could have imagined.  And just like that day in Le Relecq-Kerhuon, I find myself neck-deep in a culture that was never my own.  But unlike that day, I don’t want to stay there very long.

Being a mother is something I’ve always dreamed of, but never thought this strong desire would come so early in my life.  I thought I’d be one of those people trying desperately to conceive after 35, and I was fine with that.  But now, I realize, my path has changed.  And so have I.

I was 20 years old when I took that strange journey through a strange land.  Now, at 28, I start a new journey through an even stranger land–one with consequences much deeper and much longer lasting.  But the premise is still the same:  I’m enjoying the route, trying not to get desperate for the goal line, and learning with each step I make.

After all, isn’t that what life is all about?

• For once, I’m not doing a “Random Thoughts” post on Tuesday.  I figured I’d do it today so that I couldn’t do it tomorrow.  Some sort of weird blog-esque reverse psychology.
• Today is Brother’s birthday.  He’s now 25 years of age.  My “little” brother is 25.  He can now rent a car at the lower price.  That’s just insane.
• This morning I found myself singing “Jingle Bell Rock” in my head.  It’s March 1st.  That’s a tad bit late to be singing Christmas songs.  Either that or a wee bit early.
• I’ve been told for weeks now that the fall schedule of classes would be up today.  Guess what’s not up today?
• I found some clothes of mine that have been hiding in the laundry room for months.  It’s interesting because they feel almost new.  I should hide my clothes more often and get that feeling.
• “Only the Good Die Young,” by Billy Joel is a FANTASTIC song.  My favorite line:  “You Catholic girls start much too late.”  Ain’t that the truth?
• I’m kind of sad that the Olympics are over.  As you know, I prefer the Winter Olympics over the Summer variety.  So now I have four years to wait for more excitement.  That hardly seems fair to me.
• I’m trying to cut down on caffeine and I skipped my Tim Horton’s coffee this morning.  Guess it’s going to be a long morning.

What’s on your mind?

Open Letters Friday is a segment here at PCL for your reading and writing enjoyment. I’ll share with you some of my open letters for the week and you’ll get the opportunity in comments to share yours. Now, tell me, who do you need to write to this week?

—————————–

Dear Lady Gaga–

How dare you!  You keep writing and producing songs that I can’t get out of my head.  Right now “Monster” is playing on Pandora.  Now that song will be in my head all day.  I’ll be walking around singing “he ate my heart…he ate-ate-ate my heart.”  That isn’t exactly a good business practice.

Outraged but Singing,

Kim

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Dear School:

Release the damn fall schedule already.  It’s hard enough to plan my life as it is.  I don’t need any help making things crazy.

Frustrated,

Student

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Dear Readers:

Have you ever wanted to ask me something but didn’t want me to know who was asking?  Well, now’s your chance.  Go to http://www.formspring.me/kimwithak and ask me anything your heart desires. Seriously–it’s all fair game.

Sincerely,

Open-Book Kim

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Dear Rocky the Dog:

You get your staples out today!  What an exciting day!  Please be a good boy.  Shitting on the vet’s floor is acceptable, but peeing on people is not.  And watch that tail, boy.  It’s fierce!

Love,

Your Human Mom

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Dear Readers that are Writers, Bloggers, Photographers, Artists:

Monday! Monday! Monday!

Monday, March 1, 2010 is your deadline to submit to the first issue of Drop of Ink: A Writers’, Artists’ and Bloggers’ Journal.  I’ve been working on the layout and it promises to be an excellent product.  But that’s only if you submit often and early.  So what are you waiting for?

Hugs and Such,

An Impatient Editor-in-Chief

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Dear Life:

My plans for you are shifting a bit.  Please be patient with me and give me what I want.  And no one gets hurt.

Lots of love (and lots of desires),

Kim

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Now it’s your turn!  Get things off your chest.And you can check out other Open Letters Fridays here.

This morning I decided to forego the extra stop at Tim Horton’s for good coffee and got a McDonald’s coffee with my Sausage McMuffin instead.  I figured it’s saving me money and time.  Why not go ahead and give it a try?

I’ll tell you why:  it’s not as good.

But isn’t that the problem with trying new things?  There’s a good chance (at least 50/50) that you’re not going to like the new way of doing things.  We get so focused on the chance that it might be good, sometimes we forget the chance that it might be bad.

I often have that problem when I buy new skin care products.  Or anything that touches my skin, actually.  I have sensitive skin and the slightest step out of the boundaries that have been artificially set up by that sensitivity will cause me to itch and cringe all day long.

But some change can be good.  I was talking to Mom last night.  She again went off on one of her “I just thought you’d be happy practicing law,” talks.  Between her and the icy road beneath my wheels as I talked to her, I was on edge.  Finally I just had enough and asked her why she’s so worried about it.  Why was she so concerned about me not being a “lawyer” anymore?  And she didn’t really have a good answer.

That’s one change that I know has been good for me.  I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I’m a helluva lot closer than I was a year ago or even six months ago.  I have a plan–a plan that I like, mind you–and I’m ready to follow through with it.  And no, Mom, going to law school doesn’t seem like wasted time.  It just seems like a step I made when I thought things were going to be different.

You see, I never thought I was going to meet “the One” (God, how I hate that term) during my first year of law school.  I never thought I’d be married at the age of 26.  I never thought I’d be wanting a family before I was 30.  But once I realized that along with the fact that I want to have quality of life, not just quantity, it seemed the traditional legal path just wasn’t for me.  Do I regret going to law school?  No.  And even if I did, what would be the point?

Sometimes trying something new is a mess.  I’m drinking some brown water that is being passed off as coffee as a result of that.  But sometimes, if we’re lucky, it’s the start of a whole new adventure.  Like I said, the chances are 50/50 no matter what you do.  But the 50% chance of good somehow outweighs it’s numerically equal counterpart when you consider the after-effects of such change. For example, I’m going to have a career I like one day.  And that means something more to me than having a traditional career path…whatever that means anymore these days.

And you can bet your bottom dollar that I’m not going to let this McDonald’s coffee fool me once again.

What changes have been good for you? What changes have been bad for you?

So we all know that I just started back to school this semester, right?  Would it surprise you if I told you that I was already planning my great escape (with a degree)?  It shouldn’t.  I’m apparently the most impatient person I know.

Examples of this impatience is endless.  Let’s see where it takes us:

• I switch lanes pretty constantly in traffic to try and get the one that is going fastest.
• Even when I’m excited to see a show or a movie, like Lost last night, I’m even more excited for it to be over and automatically in my head so I can think/talk about it.
• I can rarely bid on something on eBay because I’ll go nuts waiting for the clock to tick down to zero.
• When I’m getting gas, I can rarely set it and forget it, I have to squeeze the lever manually so that I know it’s going at peek levels.
• Even though I wasn’t a big fan of the Corral (save those sweet yeast rolls), I was excited that I got to automatically get my food without waiting.
• When I started this blog, I was desperate for readership and comments straight away.  Like people would just magically find it and want to read it on Day 1.

The examples could go on forever really.  I’m sure those closest to me could tell you a few more things that I do.  But that’s the problem–I haven’t learned patience.

Patience is one of those things you try to teach kids.  Be patient for summer vacation.  Be patient for Christmas.  Be patient about growing up.  I was never patient for any of these things.  I tried, sure.  But I never could quite muster up the patience necessary to truly enjoy my life along the way.

And so I am here now, trying to figure out how to at least get my Master’s out of the way in the quickest way possible.  All of the old habits of impatience sneak up on me like death and taxes:  they were always going to come anyhow, but once you’re there you’re somehow surprised again.

I could take two deep breaths.  I could put aside working on my plan of work.  I could to a lot of things.  But I realized something this morning.  Sometimes my impatience pays off.  It forces me to reconcile reality with my desires and to bring the two closer together.  It’s not necessarily a blessing, but it’s not always a curse either.  Sometimes, it’s just what I needed.

In any event, I’m not sure I could change it if I tried.

Are you impatient?  What things test your patience?