When I was younger (let’s say eight years old for this exercise), I used to dream about being “grown up”.  I have now come to realize that everything I’d fantasize about is pure shit.  It was lies fed to me by…someone or something (I haven’t nailed that down yet).  And I’m not ready to forgive [...]

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Here I am, watching television, not trying to be overly stimulated and there’s Seth McFarlane on my screen in a Hulu advertisement all making my lady parts quiver.  This makes me start to wander off on a topic in my head…I have weird taste in guys.  The Mister is probably walking proof of that, but [...]

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Can someone please send this anonymously to The Mister? He is currently laying on our loveseat (all 6’2″ of him on our loveseat) wth his fake store-brand crocs in my face.  I’ve tried to throw these things away so many times it’s not even funny.  They’re all worn out at the bottom.  They’re foam.  FOAM. [...]

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It’s allegedly a full moon tonight.  From my mock-bungalow in the suburbs, I can’t really see the moon or the stars.  It’s sad because I used to consult them almost nightly from my window at The Homestead, on the once very-outer ring of civilization.  Now the glow of the city and the sting of the [...]

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Remember the theme from Perfect Strangers? (I know Ms. MM does.)  The perfect mix of 80s synth mixed with a pound of optimism hitting the high notes just at the right moment?  That song just captures the mystery of life in so many ways and gets you ready to deal with Balky Bartakamous and his [...]

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One of the drawbacks about my particular brand of writing and humor is that I get very picky when I read memoirs by white women talking about their twenties and thirties.  I’m constantly thinking to myself one of two things: (1) Get over it -or- (2) I could do this better.  Which is why I [...]

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It’s a Monday.  Reason enough for random thoughts, n’est-ce pas? In the nearly two years I’ve worked here, the vacation time policy has been to just take a vacation when you want and let someone know you’ll be gone.  All of a sudden when I want (read: need desperately) to take time off to get [...]

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As if you wanted to know more about my perfectly cursed body… After arriving late (as always) to meet Ms. MEPS for lunch today, I had to throw down my purse and keys to run off to the bathroom.  I didn’t tell her this (mainly because we were eating) at the time, but I was [...]

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When I was younger, I used to wait for those times when my parents and brother weren’t around to do whatever I wanted.  I can see it now from my parent’s kitchen, the car backing down the driveway, the sound of the garage door closing.  Suddenly, I’d freeze and wait for the forgotten item of [...]

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I realized yesterday in my State of the Blog-esque post that I haven’t done one of these in about a month.  And the thing is that I’ve had plenty of songs in my head since that time.  So really, there’s no excusing my lack of providing you with ample songs to fill your head.  And [...]

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