Last night I went to dinner with Mr. CVD and Mr. RMB for my birthday. I insisted upon Olive Garden. Why a chain restaurant, you ask? Because they’re having the Neverending Pasta Bowl, I remind you. You know it it in the back of your head because of all of those asinine commercials out there–the ones with way too happy couples dining together and contemplating which pasta and sauce they’re going to choose first. God, I hate those commercials.
Nevertheless, I thought I had planned this perfectly. My intent was to get a second helping, take one bite and box it up for lunch today. Two meals, one price…brilliant. I was basically patting myself on the back all day for coming up with this brilliant plan.
What I forgot, though, is that best laid plans are rarely easily executed.
I ate my way through the first helping with vim and vigor. I figure I might as well put on a show about how hungry I am when they’re going to bring me more. So I stuff myself with fettucine alfredo (my favorite non-Polish dish) just to accommodate the second helping enough to look real. And, mind you, by this point I am getting pretty full. A bowlful of pasta will do that to you.
I asked for my second helping with a smile on my face–my evil plan was nearing completion. And when she returns rather quickly, it was soon evident that my plan was thwarted. The second portion, it turns out, is a tiny ass little bowl, not big enough for the next day’s snack, let alone lunch.
Plan abort. Plan abort. Plan abort.
This is on top of the fact that we had to sit in a booth behind some rich Republican types who had wholly inaccurate understandings of how the unemployment system in this country works. Even though it was my birthday, I felt like turning around to correct them might have been a faux pas.
Best laid plans are so often not my forte. If I plan to get to work early so I can leave early, I’m almost always assured to be late. If I get my car washed, it gets dirty more quickly. So you’d think that I’d realize that this pasta-for-life plan wasn’t going to work. But, then again, I carry just too much hope in the wrong things sometimes.
The morale of the story: never underestimate the power of a chain restaurant to screw you over.
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20 users responded in this post
I HATE OLIVE GARDEN FOR THIS!!! Jamie and I went once with the same basic goal in mind, and were thwarted in much the same way. But, we both felt like, “well, in for a penny…” so we both ate our second little bowls and asked for thirds… and then fourths I think (please don’t ask me how we fit all this food down!) – the waitress was none too pleased with having to bring us all of this pasta – the portions got smaller and smaller, and the wait times in between got longer and longer. Why call it “neverending” if they clearly only intend for you to have one bowl?!?!
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Nothing good ever happens at Olive Garden…. trust me!
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Fucking Olive Garden. They deserve a strongly worded letter if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but I’m going to give you my opinion anyway.
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They are essentially giving out the bowl equivalent of Russian nesting dolls!
I’ve never ordered the neverending bowl because I can’t finish even one bowl of their heavily sauced pasta. I love the breadsticks though!
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Sad day! I’m sorry they thwarted your plan.
*glares at Olive Garden*
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Huh. I figured they were going to tell you you couldn’t take it to go. Like anything else “all-you-can-eat” related. Stupid Olive Garden.
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Stupid Olive Garden. The only you can count on is the breadsticks!
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Leave it to the chain restaurants to promise all you can eat … and give it to you in very tiny bowls an hour apart so you just get frustrated and leave. Gee, thanks OG, for being a giant butthead.
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I haven’t been to an Olive Garden is so long.
And yes, I hate their commercials, too. However, the one that makes me laugh out loud is when all of the Olive Garden “chefs” are off in Tuscany learning how to make pasta sauce from some Italian Grandmother.
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But at least you got those squishy, cheesy, breadsticks, yes?! Those almost make it worth it…
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Hmm. My boyfriend was wanting to go to Olive Garden for this very special, but perhaps I shall ask him to reconsider.
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You know, maybe it IS a chain, but I LOVE OLIVE GARDEN. Yes, everyone can hate on me now, but seriously? TASTY.
Those breadsticks dipped in their alfredo dipping sauce? Orgasmic.
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I miss Olive Garden, I hate how we don’t have it here. They’re mean bringing you small bowls like that but well actually pretty smart too. Booooo to the waiters and waitresses.
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They put the second helping in a smaller bowl? Those bastards! Can we sue for deceptive advertising?
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Sadly, you couldn’t be more right.
I work at a chain restaurant on weekends. We have “all you can eat chicken tenders” every Sunday. You get four tenders at first, then two every time you want more. Yep, two. And you have to wait six minutes for them, ha. Anywho, we also don’t let you have a box and have to explain that at the onset. And, no sharing.
So the OG thing makes total sense to me.
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kim Reply:
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:05 pm
If they had some sort of disclaimer about sharing or taking stuff home, I’d be fine with it. But there was no such disclaimer. Just disappointment!
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Damn Olive Garden! Sneaky Italians… they do make up for it though with the bread sticks. (yum!)
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I never understood the appeal of Olive Garden’s bread sticks. Now, I’m a bread eater (unfortunately) but I really don’t think they’re all that good.
Sorry I missed your birthday last week! I hope you had a great day! =)
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[...] last weekend, for example. Remember all of the hullabaloo I raised about not getting enough fettuccine alfredo at Olive Garden on my birthday? Well, even [...]
HAPPY B_DAY!! (Totally late, sorry, I must have missed this post) Gotta love fall b-days. I don’t know how you eat at OG it makes me SO sick. MC and I always joke that neither of us would make it home in time for the bathroom if we ate there. Yeah, we have kind of a sick relationship lol.
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