Open Letters Friday, Volume IX

Open Letters Friday is a segment here at PCL for your reading and writing enjoyment. I’ll share with you some of my open letters for the week and you’ll get the opportunity in comments to share yours. Now, tell me, who do you need to write to this week?

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Dear Readers:

Who knew I’d have so many open letters to write that I’d get to Volume IX!  That’s crazy.  I hope you enjoy Open Letters Friday.  Let me know in the comments…and don’t forget to write your own open letters.  The Universe is listening.

Sincerely,

The PCL

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Dear Farmville:

I know I’ve been extolling your virtues on here as of late.  But there are a few things I’d like to clear up.  First, why can’t I sell my goods on an open market.  I know this makes me sound like a Republican when I clearly am not, but maybe I could get more for my raspberries from someone else.

Secondly, why do the pigs give you truffles?  Are you afraid to remind people that bacon, ham and sausage come from pigs?

That’ll do, Farmville.  That’ll do.

Sincerely,

Addicted as Hell

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Dear Retailers:

I know you love getting into the Christmas spirit, but November 1st is too early for ads featuring Christmas music in my opinion.  Just urge people to buy, but for the love of all that is holy, stop playing Christmas music in your commercials.  We get it.  You’re overjoyed.

Sincerely,

Last Minute Shopper

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Dear Tim Hortons:

Why is it that your coffee gets cold so fast?  Maybe it’s time to invest in better cup technology.

Yours Truly,

A Faithful Coffee Customer

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Dear Car:

I have decided to name you Sparky.  You will like this name and exhibit its qualities, namely that you will continue to run well.  And you will like it.

Very truly yours,

Your Slavedriver Owner

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Dear Universe:

You know how I’m waiting on a ton of things right now…like a decision as to whether I got into my graduate program or agents to read my manuscript or other agents to respond to my queries?  Please urge them to make positive decisions soon.  I hate waiting.

Sincerely,

Impatient as Hell

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Now it’s your turn!  Get things off your chest.And you can check out other Open Letters Fridays here.