Grant Me Impatience

by kim on February 24, 2010 · 40 comments

in All About Me, C'est la vie

So we all know that I just started back to school this semester, right?  Would it surprise you if I told you that I was already planning my great escape (with a degree)?  It shouldn’t.  I’m apparently the most impatient person I know.

Examples of this impatience is endless.  Let’s see where it takes us:

  • I switch lanes pretty constantly in traffic to try and get the one that is going fastest.
  • Even when I’m excited to see a show or a movie, like Lost last night, I’m even more excited for it to be over and automatically in my head so I can think/talk about it.
  • I can rarely bid on something on eBay because I’ll go nuts waiting for the clock to tick down to zero.
  • When I’m getting gas, I can rarely set it and forget it, I have to squeeze the lever manually so that I know it’s going at peek levels.
  • Even though I wasn’t a big fan of the Corral (save those sweet yeast rolls), I was excited that I got to automatically get my food without waiting.
  • When I started this blog, I was desperate for readership and comments straight away.  Like people would just magically find it and want to read it on Day 1.

The examples could go on forever really.  I’m sure those closest to me could tell you a few more things that I do.  But that’s the problem–I haven’t learned patience.

Patience is one of those things you try to teach kids.  Be patient for summer vacation.  Be patient for Christmas.  Be patient about growing up.  I was never patient for any of these things.  I tried, sure.  But I never could quite muster up the patience necessary to truly enjoy my life along the way.

And so I am here now, trying to figure out how to at least get my Master’s out of the way in the quickest way possible.  All of the old habits of impatience sneak up on me like death and taxes:  they were always going to come anyhow, but once you’re there you’re somehow surprised again.

I could take two deep breaths.  I could put aside working on my plan of work.  I could to a lot of things.  But I realized something this morning.  Sometimes my impatience pays off.  It forces me to reconcile reality with my desires and to bring the two closer together.  It’s not necessarily a blessing, but it’s not always a curse either.  Sometimes, it’s just what I needed.

In any event, I’m not sure I could change it if I tried.

Are you impatient?  What things test your patience?

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