The Ten Types of People I Will Unfriend or Unfollow on Social Media

Despite the fact that it appears the world is going down the toilet lately, I like to have some rules and consistency in my life. To me, living life without principles is akin to living no life at all.  Why bother participating in society if you’re not going to be an active participant?

I’ll be the first to admit, though, that sometimes my principles get in the way of me living a decent life on a daily basis.  Remember that line from That Thing You Do where the one band member says to another, “There he goes.  Off to write the hit song ‘Alone In My Principles.'”?

Yeah, that is so funny to me because it’s true.

One of those stated principles has brought me some degree of misery as of late.  You see, I decided long ago that I was not going to de-friend someone on Facebook for merely stating a political or social opinion (unless that opinion was racist, sexist or homophobic).  As the nation gets more politicized in the months preceding the presidential election, I find that this principled stance is getting harder and harder to enforce.  How do I keep people on my friends list who are clearly nut jobs?

I think I’ve finally arrived at the point where I’m ready to make some new rules about social media.  It’s clear that I am alone in my principles and that my solitude here is preventing me from making good decisions.  Thus, I’ve decided to come up with new rules for social media friendship and present them here.

The Ten Types of People I Will Unfriend or Unfollow on Social Media

  • People who think autism is caused by vaccines despite the fact that the study this was based off of was proven to be false and the investigator admitted falsifying his data.  If you are convinced this is true, perhaps you should become a doctor and medical researcher and do the scientific work necessary to further your cause, because thus far there has been no scientific link to any of this.  This goes double for anyone thinking that politicians get “clean” versions of vaccines or that there’s some conspiracy to kill us all with vaccines.  If there is a conspiracy, it sure isn’t working on us since we’re constantly pushing the boundaries of mortality.
  • People who take gratuitous photos of themselves in the mirror on a daily or weekly basis for no good reason.  No new haircut, no new outfit, no anything, just a random picture and a glaring flash?  See you in another life, sister.

  • People who think that no one can suffer in any way except them or that others’ suffering is not worthy of attention.   Get this: other people can suffer just as bad or worse than you.  You are not the martyr you think you are, so stop acting like one.
  • People who listen to and agree with 50% or more of what is said by the following people: Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Laura Schlessinger, Sean Hannity, Phyllis Schlafly, John Boehner, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul.  If you honestly believe that any of the aforementioned individuals aren’t heterosexist, racist, misogynistic twits, then you and aren’t even in the same galaxy.
  • People who ask me to join asinine games like Castleville.  We all did that two years ago when it was called Farmville and have since gotten lives and moved on with the world.  Here’s a hint: if it says that I’m not playing the game, then I don’t want to play it.
  • People who fight with or do nothing but complain about their significant other on the internet.  It’s funny at first, but it gets REALLY old really quick.  I don’t need to get a blow by blow of your argument or disagreement.  I don’t care.  And it clogs up my page with your idiocy.  You have a problem with each other? Deal with it in person.
  • People who constantly push some weight loss product on their timeline or detail their weight loss regularly on social media.  No one cares that you lost 12 lbs this week or that you sell some super amazing program that will allow you to shed your body fat in ten days.  Guess what? I’ll see you on the other side when you’re just as fat (if not moreso) and still haven’t learned to love your body.
  • People who are constantly lacking in the grammar department on simple things. I’m sorry, but your posts give me a headache.  There is no excuse for certain transgressions.  This is especially true on Facebook where you have no character limit.  There’s no need to use text-talk on the character limit-free Facebook.  Misusing hashtags on Twitter also gets old after awhile.
  • People who use old-fashioned or new-fashioned racism to discredit President Obama.  This includes people who think Obama is Muslim, the anti-Christ, a terrorist or a socialist.  First, who cares if he’s a Muslim? This is America in 2012, not England in 1620.  Second, I’m pretty sure if he were the anti-Christ he’d have carried out his diabolical schemes by now.  No one waits to see if they get a second term just to demolish society.  Third, if he’s a terrorist, he certainly does a poor job of showing it.  I mean, you’d think killing Bin Laden would be the last thing on his list.  And if you think he’s a socialist then you have NO idea what socialism is and I beg you to learn.
  • People who think it’s okay to get rid of their pet or to purchase an animal from a backyard breeder.  There are over five million dogs in shelters on any given day.  You having a baby or purchasing a new home does not qualify as one of the events I think is worthy of a free pass on giving up your pet and adding to the problem.  And there’s no need to purchase dogs, but if you wish to then only buy from breeders who are seriously concerned with the betterment of the breed.  Here’s a hint: no mixed breed dog comes from a legitimate breeder.  A cocka-poo is just a mutt as is a labradoodle.  There are plenty of worthy mutts down at the pound.

Do you have any other types of people you’d like to add to the list?

33 comments for “The Ten Types of People I Will Unfriend or Unfollow on Social Media

  1. March 5, 2012 at 10:55 am

    AMEN sister, friend. Yes, yes, and yes to everything above, and considering I don’t do any of those things, I can breathe a sigh of relief and hope you won’t excommunicate me from the Internet.

    Anyway, I have total social media burnout and only keep up with people that make me feel decent and semi-normal. This means I’m less popular and “out there,” but really, if I have to associate with those types of people to be popular, I’ll take my self-imposed isolation any day 😉

    • kim
      March 5, 2012 at 11:16 am

      At this point, I need to just start disconnecting for my sanity. I’ve limited my responses because I know how pointless it is in trying to correct these people. I think it’s time I just cut ties.

    • March 5, 2012 at 6:21 pm

      I”ve reached that point, too, Abby.


      • kim
        March 8, 2012 at 1:07 pm

        Sometimes this hyper-connected world is just TOO much.

  2. Megg
    March 5, 2012 at 11:00 am

    I agree whole-heartedly with the last one. Unless I ended up comatose and couldn’t take care of them, there’s no way I’d get rid of Fonzie (or Raja!). Dogs aren’t sweaters. And people who spend thousands of dollars on a Labradoodle or some other nonsense piss me off even more. We rescued Fonzie from a breed-specific rescue, whose goal is to give discarded “failed hunters” a better life, and we couldn’t agree with that more.

    Also, I love you use of “new-fashioned racism” – couldn’t have said it better myself. There’s a nut ass whose home we pass every day that has nasty, racist, ignorant anti-Obama signs all over his yard – if I lived in his neighborhood, I’d have the cops all over his ass.

    • kim
      March 5, 2012 at 11:17 am

      I don’t get people who feel like pets are products or toys or gifts. Pets are family members in my world. I couldn’t dare give one away.

      The fact that people don’t see what they say about Obama is racist scares me. I mean, what does that say about our society? We’re not post-racial at all.

  3. March 5, 2012 at 11:09 am

    i’m slightly surprised that i didn’t see….

    “people who tweet stupid updates while watching sporting events” on here…

    mostly because i am self-conscious about the fact that i do it. i’m trying to cut back, but i find that there’s a community of sports fans on twitter that commiserate with me and it makes me feel better.

    i unfollow people who do nothing but tweet song lyrics. i don’t know why, but it aggravates me. or if all they do is retweet celebrity tweets. that bugs me too.

    • kim
      March 5, 2012 at 11:18 am

      I kind of agree with that, but I tend to tweet during sporting events. Not all. Just really important ones. So I’d have to ban myself. :)

      Song lyrics on a constant basis–with nothing else–also drives me nuts.

  4. March 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    I’m with you on a lot of these. I live with Ron Paul supporters–can I unfollow them in life? Hah.

    The dog thing kills me too, especially “OMG I’m preggers, plz to take my dog! She drives me nuts!”

    • kim
      March 8, 2012 at 1:07 pm

      Yes! The dog thing drives me insane. Or people with cats that think the cats will smother their baby the second they turn their backs.

  5. March 5, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    I’m ready to do a massive campaign like this on my own, too.

    It’s time.

    • March 5, 2012 at 8:00 pm

      I’ve already silently started this campaign for myself but I’m not going to announce it, as another person I would add to this list is “person who constantly talks about how their taking up some great big endeavor but then fails to follow through (or reminds everyone about it every three seconds.) Just do it already!

      Not Kim of course, but the “others.” We’re all obviously the sane ones 😉

  6. Meredith
    March 5, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    You are so much more forgiving that I would be – you give people a chance to believe at least 49% of stuff from all those looneys before you unfollow or unfriend them. Me? I figure if you believe even 1% of the crap they’re peddling, then we just can’t be Internet friends.

    (And props for the Harry Potter pic – my inner geek rejoiced.)

    • kim
      March 8, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      I really try to disconnect people from their beliefs in order to be friendly with people. But I’m done doing it. You start talking crazy and I’ll show you to the internet door.

  7. March 6, 2012 at 12:08 am

    I’d say people I used to know, who were never the least bit friendly towards me (or, in the case of people from grade school, were never anything but overtly abusive toward me) but suddenly, years or decades later, want me to help them get up to an impressive number of “friends” on Facebook. No, thank you…

    • kim
      March 8, 2012 at 1:09 pm

      Agreed. I’ve had a few of those where I want to respond to their friend request with a giant question mark.

  8. March 6, 2012 at 1:57 am

    YES TO ALL OF THE ABOVE. This is why I avoid most real life people in my online world.

    I did have a friend when I was little who had a cockapoo she got from the pound (before people were intentionally creating mutts by the thousands to sell for thousands), and she was a fantastic little dog. So sometimes I peruse PetFinder looking for a similar mix (only not really, because we can’t get another dog). But I agree – backyard breeding, not spaying/neutering, spending thousands on a dog only to try to “re-home” it a year later – it makes me stabby.

    • kim
      March 8, 2012 at 1:10 pm

      Cockapoos can be awesome dogs…but they are just mutts. They aren’t really a breed. I have a labrachow mix by those standards. (Which actually sounds like a cool name…) Looking for a mix on petfinder is one thing. Going to breed two different breeds on purpose is quite another.

      It’s hard because I have family that have engaged in backyard breeding so I walk a tight line on that one.

  9. March 6, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    This describes vast swaths of my family and I’m constantly at odds whether or not to permanently get rid of them rather than just blocking their crap from my feed.

    • kim
      March 8, 2012 at 1:16 pm

      i’ve started blocking first. but for those people who don’t want to leave my posts alone, i’m thinking an unfriending is in order.

  10. March 6, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    I have to admit that I’ve done little bits of some of these now and again. PLEASE DON’T DELETE ME I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

    • kim
      March 8, 2012 at 1:16 pm

      Which ones have you done? I haven’t seen any of them.

      • March 8, 2012 at 2:26 pm

        I suppose just one of yours…the weight loss thing. I’m slightly obsessed (in a really bad way). It’s a little part of my Crazy. I guess I saw the song lyrics one in the comments though, and I do that sometimes, but it’s only Tori Amos lyrics, because I pretty much find most other lyrics annoying, petty, or unimaginitive (or all of the above…).

        That’s not to say I don’t like music with annoying, petty, or unimaginative lyrics. It’s a lot of fun! But they aren’t that quotable.

        • kim
          March 8, 2012 at 2:33 pm

          First of all, I’ve never once seen you quote song lyrics. And it’s only people who post nothing but song lyrics on FB that fall into this category.

          Secondly, the weight loss thing is aimed at people trying to be all “buy this product” or regularly check in with the number of pounds they lost on FB or Twitter. Like we’re all keeping track at home.

          You do neither of these things. You are safe, my dear.

          Plus, even if you did, I’d still love you. I mean, there’s Buster to think about. 😉

  11. Ms TC
    March 8, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    I’ve been tempted many times to unfriend certain people, but I don’t, mainly because they serve as comic relief sometimes. Most of the time, though, they make my blood boil so I really should do it. I’m torn.

    • kim
      March 8, 2012 at 1:17 pm

      I usually leave them in there for comic relief purposes as well. I just toyed with a Ron Paul supporter last week for fun. But when I end up missing good posts and see that bullshit, I have to think twice.

  12. April 4, 2012 at 8:03 am

    This, my dear, is brilliant. Though, I am a little worried now that I read it…how are we still friends?? 😉 just kidding. But seriously I love that you take control of your social media and make sure that you aren’t being brought down. I need to do some serious cleaning out of people, but don’t have the balls.

    • kim
      April 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

      I’ve started hiding people’s posts like crazy on FB. There’s only so much I can handle.

  13. April 4, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Amen to your list! Grammar and spelling are my biggest pet peeves.

    • kim
      April 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

      It’s one thing to have an error here or there, but to constantly be screwing things up is inexcusable.

      • April 4, 2012 at 2:21 pm

        I’m constantly picking on my brother’s friend for poor grammar and spelling. I figure that eventually he’s going to get tired of my abuse and start doing things correctly, but its been two years and he hasn’t improved.

        • kim
          April 4, 2012 at 2:25 pm

          Some people just don’t get it. Like literally do NOT get it.

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