1. Sleep Deprivation
Sleep is a premium luxury and necessity for me as of late. I need about eleventy billion hours of sleep to get through the day. I guess growing humans will do that to you. Of course, so will being sick–which I have been since Thursday. So when I couldn’t sleep until 2 am last night (this morning), I was rather irritated. Yes, I slept during the day, but that’s not the same. Day sleep cannot replace night sleep. I didn’t invent the rules, I just heed them.
Granted, because of this, I got to watch the landing of the new Mars rover, Curiosity, at the actual hour of it’s landing. And by “watch,” I mean “watch the people at NASA flip out about it landing and then see a couple of blurry pictures real quick.” And all in all that’s good.How could you not smile with these nerds being so happy? God love the nerds…they really make the rest of us look useful.
But seriously, it’s not as good as sleep. Despite my desire to see something totally confidential, there were no martians staring into Curiosity’s camera and giving us the bird.
2. Elton John Constantly Bitching About Madonna
News “broke” this weekend that Sir Elton John has even more to say about Her Madgesty, Madonna. This time it went something like this:
She is such a nightmare. I’m sorry. Her career is over. Her tour has been a disaster and it couldn’t happen to a bigger cunt.
If Madonna had any common sense she would have made a record like Ray Of Light and stayed away from the dance stuff and just been a great pop singer and make great pop records, which she does brilliantly. But no, she had to go and prove… she looks like a fucking fairground stripper.
Dude, Elton, I love you but you’re not one to talk. First of all, you are obsessed with Lady Caca who despite everything you say about Madonna still wants to emulate her in at least seven different ways every hour. So don’t act like Madonna’s presence is somehow tainted. No one is claiming MDNA was amazing, but seriously. Secondly, where’s your recent hit album? Oh, that’s right, you don’t have one. Writing music for Disney doesn’t count for shit in the pop music world. The fact is that you haven’t put out a hit album in decades…like a true pop hit album.Yes, I said it. You are more irrelevant than you claim Madonna is. Get over yourself.
Thirdly, we all know that Madonna would have been better served by a Ray of Light-esque album. So thanks for that giant gem of information.
Seriously…just go away. No one cares. You’re more irrelevant than Madonna will ever be. And I’ll be the first to point out when she’s irrelevant, but the fact is that you’re just jealous that she means more to millions of gays than you ever will. This type of vitriol really doesn’t look good on you.
3. NBC’s Idiotic Coverage of the Olympics
Now, I know you think you know where I’m going with this. And yes, I think it’s dumb that we can’t watch streaming video of Olympic events in real time. I really do. But that’s not even my main problem with NBC.
Yesterday, I had the Olympic coverage on in the background when all of a sudden this segment about James F*cking Bond comes on. The only reason I can even come close to figuring out for this was that Bond is English and the Olympics are in London. The segment was on in prime time and took up at least five minutes of time that could have been devoted to…oh, I don’t know…the OLYMPIC GAMES.
Meanwhile, people are breaking world records and setting all kinds of new historical moments and we’re watching a f*cking segment about a fictitious character.The only time James Bond should be discussed at the Olympics is when he’s actually AT the Olympics…with the Queen…and her corgis.
And you wonder why the world hates us sometimes? Maybe because of that type of idiocy. At least if you’re not going to show the events in real time, don’t waste my time with nonsense filler when you could be showing some tape delayed stuff of importance.
I seriously don’t remember ABC messing up this badly when they covered the Olympics.
I’m full of piss and vinegar. Check out some of my other rants here.