Random Thoughts: The Not-So-Randomly Tired Edition

by kim on December 6, 2012 · 19 comments

in random thoughts

  • Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I had to move from the bed to the recliner last night because the discomfort of my own body was too much to handle.  Of course, all of the animals thought this meant it was some sort of play time.  Lucy the Cat was convinced that this meant it was time to knock over all kinds of–well, anything on any sort of ledge or table.  I swear Brooklyn the Dog stood a couple feet away and stared at me for a good hour.  Spencer the Cat was upset that I moved him from his spot of slumber, but at least he had the decency to go find somewhere else to be Pouty McGee.  Sorry to bother all of you with my pain and discomfort!
  • Maybe the Mayans were right about the world ending, because there was just an Eau de Pizza Hut perfume released and, honestly, I can’t think of anything to live for after that has entered the public realm.  It’s a limited edition and most likely the last purchase will be made right before the Earth implodes…or whatever is going to happen happens.
  • Being married to a super hero and comic book nerd has done nothing to make me feel better about the blatant sexism that is thriving in that particular industry.  The Hawkeye Initiative is an attempt to demonstrate that particular truth by switching out the female characters for male ones (first used with hero Hawkeye) to show that the poses, outfits and general antics of female comic book characters are really caricatures of sexist notions of women. Highly recommend!
  • If you need a reason to get your ears to bleed and your eyes scream out for the sweet release of death, may I recommend the new song by old school duo Olivia Newton John and John Travolta?  It’s a country-esque Christmas filled crap pie.  And the video features John Travolta flying a plane!  Compared to this horrid excuse for a song, Gangham Style is essentially Mozart.
  • Although I’m not big into the holiday season, I do feel the need to watch two movies: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and Elf.  Those are the two best Christmas films, hands down.  Followed by Home Alone for nostalgia purposes.  But I don’t want to just catch them on TV. I want dedicated time to watch them start to finish and uncensored.
  • Speaking of elves, I have to admit that the whole Elf on the Shelf thing creeps me out to no end. I mentioned it on FB last week and think I garnered myself some side eye from parents of kids who love that creepy little fucker.  I don’t care.  He looks like he’d burn down your house and replace your contraception with tic tacs just for fun.  And who has the time for that nonsense of putting him in new situations every night?  You know what’s better than that?  Sleep.  Sleep is better.

  • I take back the thing about the Pizza Hut perfume causing the apocalypse.  Clearly it is really because of the Fifty Shades of Grey board game.  Just cancel your plans because there is no future.   I’m going to go weep now.

 

What’s on your mind today?

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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Dane December 6, 2012 at 10:40 am

While the Elf is creepy and a mini version of Chucky from Child’s Play, the glee my daughter has every morning when she goes to the previous day’s “landing spot” and discovers he’s not there, and the resulting giggles and joy she has when she finds them again, makes it all worth it.

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kim December 6, 2012 at 10:43 am

I guess maybe I just don’t get it yet. The thing creeps me out to unknown degrees, though. I swear, I am going to have at least one nightmare from seeing that thing in Target.

I think those nutjobs who are worried about the government spying on us through flu shots should be more worried about these Elves on Shelves in all these homes. ;)

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Ari December 6, 2012 at 10:45 am

Question: Does the 50 Shades of Grey board game come with the abusive/ controlling partner or do you have to provide that yourself? Just curious.

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kim December 6, 2012 at 10:46 am

Good question! It’s probably some sort of add-on pack that you have to purchase to make the game really complete. That’s how they get more of your money. But, of course, they won’t tell you that the partner is abusive or controlling…just sexy.

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Ari December 6, 2012 at 10:52 am

I mean really, he’s not controlling. He just cares about you so much that he’s just trying to keep you safe. *eye roll*

Every time I hear someone say that they “want a man like Christian Grey” I want to introduce them to my ex. Been there, done that, got the bruises and the therapist bill to prove it. The “great sex” doesn’t make up for everything else that happened.

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kim December 7, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Amen, sister. A-to-tha-men.

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Megg December 6, 2012 at 10:57 am

I was talking about the Elf on a Shelf with my coworkers, and we all agreed that it’s a sign that kids these days are pansies. There was no “elf” when I was a youngin, just the certain knowledge that someone was watching, and if I fucked up, there’d be no gifts. I’m pretty sure that Elf is a tool of Satan (not that I really believe in Satan, but, you know).

I think people should stop picking on Hawkeye. He was the most useless Avenger in the movie, and he’s deaf. I’d like to see Superman in that pose, though. I do like that there’s a gay character in the Archie comics, though – that’s a small step in the right direction. Now if they’d just admit that Jughead is smoking weed, I’d be satisfied.

That 50 Shades boardgame makes me want to Lysol everything in sight. I feel dirty now. How on Earth people find it sexy that a teenyvirgin hooks up with a controlling asshole is beyond me. Plus, the grammar was TERRIBLE! I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t get beyond chapter 2 before screaming FUCK IT and deleting the thing from my Amazon account, like it never existed. EL James (I think that’s the name) has a lot to answer for.

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kim December 7, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Yeah, the elf seems like an easy way for parents to manipulate their kids into behaving. Not that I don’t see the fun in that, but at the same time the whole “he sees you when you’re sleeping…” thing should be about Santa and not the damn elf. Plus, that elf sets a bad example. it’s always getting into trouble.

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Anna December 6, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Radom thought: I would really like a burger for lunch, but I’ll most likely have one for dinner when I go out with friends tonight, so I shouldn’t. Still tempted, though. Burgers are the best food ever. I’m convinced that my hair and nails are shiny and strong because I eat so many of them (the protein, you know…ahem.).

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kim December 7, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Burgers are delicious. I don’t blame you for your desire.

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Megg December 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Just found this on another blog I love (though I love yours more *smooch*):

http://thebloggess.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/photo.jpg

Not animated, but apropos none the less. :)

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kim December 7, 2012 at 12:49 pm

EXACTLY! That thing is evil.

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Jane December 7, 2012 at 8:52 am

I also find the Elf on the Shelf creepy and went a-Googling one Friday night. We are not alone:

http://www.babyrabies.com/2011/12/inappropriate-elf-contest/

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kim December 7, 2012 at 12:50 pm

This type of contest is the only reason I’d consider buying one of these SOBs.

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Elizabeth December 7, 2012 at 9:55 am

I remember the transition to the couch at about 7 months pregnant, and I only had one in there! I hope you get some comfortable nights soon. My MIL wanted the elf for her house and the grandkids, and I was like…NO.

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kim December 7, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Why would the elf need to be at grandma’s house? That’s just messed up. I’m glad you put your foot down.

I couldn’t even fall asleep in bed last night at all. I tried and then went to the recliner after about 30 minutes. I guess I should be glad that it took until 8 months to have to do this. ;)

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