How Far I’ll Go

I’ve been reading entirely too many blogs lately.  When you take that initial step into this blogging thing, you never realize how much time it takes to actually get some people to read the crap you dare to write.  In my time doing this, I have come across very good blogs (like the ones in my newly reconfigured blogroll to the right) and really bad blogs (like the kind whose posts are all center justified and without paragraph breaks).

I’ve been blogging and blogvoyeuring long enough now to know what will and will not come across this webpage.  Sure I’ll do the occasional meme or a cheapie post about my cat stealing my dog’s bed with a cute picture, but I’m not going to go all out and become That Blogger. You know That Blogger.  The one who can’t keep their blog together long enough to determine whether it’s about cooking, partying, kids, money or social media to save your life.  Likely this person will use an indeterminable amount of fonts and glittery objects to distract you.

So I thought maybe it was time to set some parameters and state what you will not find here.  It’s like that point early on in a relationship where you tell the other person that you really are crazy and they have two choices–get out now or learn to deal with it.  Only we’re not early on at all.  (I just checked; we have been dating for about nine months now. Long enough to make a child and file for child support.) Nevertheless, it’s time you know what you aren’t going to be getting at the end of this date.

Therefore, if you’re looking for the following things, I suggest you look elsewhere:

Fashion advice. I do not have any to give.  I do have some ridicule to go around, but that’s just sheer crap anyhow.  I mean, we all know that if you wear workout clothes to Target you’re going to get ridiculed.  Or at least we should all know that.

Stock tips. I have never purchased a stock.  Or a bond.  I’ve had savings bonds in my name.  But I know nothing when it comes to money.  My parents did as best of a job as they could, but financial stability or knowledge was not their strong suit.  I have not remedied this problem.

365 Days of Grace Things.  I don’t disagree with the concept, but I just have too much belief in all things sarcastic to be that overtly grateful on a semi-regular basis.

Marriage advice. Mine is far from perfect.  If you’re married, yours is far from perfect, too.  So I’m not about to tell you how to run your show.

Weekend Recaps. I’m sorry, but no one wants to hear about the mundane details of my weekend, largely involving finding ways to get fed without cooking food.

LOL.  LMAO.  ROFL. STFU.  WTF. etc. I didn’t start a blog to stop writing full words.  If I somehow do begin to walk into this territory better left to people who are on The Hills, please someone take me outback and shoot me.

Get rich quick schemes. If I had one (and believe me, I don’t), I wouldn’t be sharing it with the world.  I’d be out doing things with money that make me tingle because I’m not used to the foreign concept of disposable income.

Recipes. Unless it’s a recipie for disaster.  In which case, I suggest you don’t follow the recipe, but rather avoid it at all costs.

Pictures of me drinking. There are a few of these out there, but they’re really not safe for human consumption.  Plus, I don’t lead an interesting enough life to provide you with this type of material.  If I were to go have a drink now, I’d be in bed by 9. (Or I’ll just drunk blog on New Year’s and no one will stop me.)

Constant talk about kids and parenting. This is probably largely due to the fact that I have no kids.  But it’s also a conscious choice.  Kids are fun and all, but they exhaust me.

I do have good news, though.  If you’re willing to stick around, you’re going to find some very fun things like:

Examples of how my family is crazy and I am just as crazy.

Instances of me screwing something up, or having something break down, sometimes multiple times, to great fanfare.

Yearning and learning about my place in my life.

Complaints about marriage, work, career, family, friends and, yes, even to the smallest extent, my pets.

Honest rhetoric about what being a human means this day in age.

A key to listen to the Songs in My Head.

My take on what’s what in life.

And of course….my take on all things Duggar (right now they’re at the Creation Museum)(and watch out Duggars…I’m hooked on this Toddlers and Tiaras.  There’s a new crazy sheriff in town.)

35 comments for “How Far I’ll Go

  1. March 18, 2009 at 1:53 am

    hilarious. i wonder if i am "that blogger" but i try not to do weekend updates….that makes me not want to read.

    please feel free to let me know, if i am, or become "that blogger!"

    loved "marriage advice…"

    • March 18, 2009 at 1:42 pm

      Talking about something interesting you did over the weekend does not fit this bill. Just going through every bit of minutiae about your weekend–whether it's interesting or not–is what I'm talking about. And thus far, I haven't seen you do it. :)

  2. f.B
    March 18, 2009 at 2:58 am

    This is bold. I like bold, a lot. And I'm on your side when it comes to mundane weekend recaps. Actually, mundane should always be off limits.

  3. March 18, 2009 at 3:01 am

    Totally hooked on Toddlers in Tiaras too. I feel like we have the same taste TV.

  4. March 18, 2009 at 9:06 am

    Great post for me, i only found you yesterday…sometimes I'm that blogger, i do blog about my weekends but only when i've done interesting things in it but i don't do any of the otehr thing (she says hopefully). I shall now commence reading your archives

  5. Erica
    March 18, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    I really appreciate you setting some boundaries. Unfortunately, I will have to unsubscribe, because I was really looking for a site where precocious toddlers in designer clothing give stock tips while making a roux. Will miss you.

  6. March 18, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    That's a good point. Though I fear sometimes I might be a bit mundane.

  7. March 18, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    I'm glad you stopped by. Welcome! Interesting weekend blogging is not the same as a boring weekend recap for the sake of recapping.

  8. March 18, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    Damn it! I knew I'd lose someone by stating this. There was bound to be a few out there who were waiting for my "Cute Chef Children" series. Damn. Damn. Damn.

  9. March 18, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    You have gotten me hooked on Duggar drama. I couldn't look away from that car wreck of procreation even if I tried.

  10. March 18, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    It's always good to have boundaries – and I think you have to define yourself to an extent when you set out on the path of a blogger. Great thoughts here – and thanks for adding me to your blogroll – I'll be sure to do the same with you (I need to do a better job of keeping up with all the blogs around the web). It can be a pretty daunting task at times.

  11. March 18, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    I *freaking love* the Creation Museum – as a Biologist and an Agnostic/Atheist (depends on my mood), it was too too good to pass up! The dinosaurs and cavechildren feeding a squirrel together were my faves :)

  12. March 18, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    LMAO. I have some good stock tips for U. They will help you get rich quick! I got them from my adorable children last weekend while my perfect husband and I were shopping for clothes and taking pictures of ourselves drinking.

  13. March 18, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    My comment got eaten and/or sent to spam again – why does the Internets hate me?

    • March 18, 2009 at 6:36 pm

      I'll take a look at the spam. I swear it's not on purpose.

    • March 18, 2009 at 6:41 pm

      I just approved it…and the few others were there from older posts. Why does WordPress hate you so much!?!? I wish there were a way I could forever approve your comments.

  14. March 18, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    As a matter of fact, I thought about you when I was watching this. We should have gone together. We could have really raised a ruckus in that place. It's seriously on my to-visit list. I especially want to see the Adam and Eve figures.

  15. March 18, 2009 at 6:52 pm

    I just checked – no pics of Adam and Eve – just lots of topiary dinos and the animatronic dinos and children and squirrels. Oh, and Satan – he's a lovely snake :) However, I'm about to post the "Why Inbreeding is Cool" pic (AKA "Where did Cain get his wife?" on my blog for everyone's viewing pleasure :)

    • kim
      March 19, 2009 at 8:33 pm

      Gross! Satan snake. God these people crack me up (I realize the irony in that statement and though I didn’t intend it, will leave it.) I just don’t understand how they can take the Bible so literally. Come on.

  16. March 18, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    That's for linking me! I'm assuming that's a good sign and I don't fall into one of the dreaded blogging type! And I am a bit obsessed with the Duggars and Toddlers and Tiaras too. I know WE is doing airing a show similar to Toddler and Tiaras, but unfortunately I don't get that channel.

    • kim
      March 19, 2009 at 8:32 pm

      Nope, if I’m linking you you definitely do not fall into one of those categories.

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  18. March 19, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    "365 Days of Grace Things. I don’t disagree with the concept, but I just have too much belief in all things sarcastic to be that overtly grateful on a semi-regular basis."

    My sentiments exactly. And I occasionaly do a weekend recap. Does that mean you hate me?

    • kim
      March 19, 2009 at 8:31 pm

      Definitely does not mean you. Plus you have the coolest tagline ever, remember?

  19. March 19, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Good post. I would say, however, that I don't think blogs have to be about anything and sometimes that's what makes them good. Also, I think some people post about the above things and it sucks and some people post about the above things and it's good. What it boils down to is whether or not the person has "voice" and whether or not they care enough to develop it. I'll read just about anything if I'm engaged by the writer's voice, including the details of a mundane weekend.

  20. March 20, 2009 at 3:13 am

    I loved this post!!!

  21. March 24, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    "Get rich quick schemes. If I had one (and believe me, I don’t), I wouldn’t be sharing it with the world. I’d be out doing things with money that make me tingle because I’m not used to the foreign concept of disposable income."

    Their get rich scheme is to trick silly people into believing this will actually work, even though the "expert" blogger knows better than to attempt it themselves. 😉 Love this post!

    • kim
      March 24, 2009 at 7:45 pm

      Thanks for stopping by. There’s no such thing as true richness that comes quick. Anyone who claims they have a secret is lying.

  22. March 24, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    I think I love you.

    • kim
      March 24, 2009 at 7:44 pm


  23. April 1, 2009 at 9:58 am

    I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


  24. Kim
    April 9, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    I really appreciate this post…it makes me feel less stupid for not constantly posting links to web-sites that sell hobo wrap dresses.

    You are an inspiration to teeny bloggers like me (teeny meaning not many readers, not teeny like I'm 13). Keep up the good work.

  25. November 13, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    Exhaust gas, a gas which occurs as a result of combustion of fuel; Exhaust system, a mechanism for venting exhaust gases from an internal

Don't just sit there...say something.

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